Anda Ada Bukan Karena Kebetulan

The Purpose Driven Life ~ Bab 2

Beginilah firman Tuhan yang menjadikan engkau, yang membentuk engkau sejak dari kandungan. Yesaya 44:2a

Kelahiran kita bukanlah suatu kesalahan atau kesialan, dan kehidupan kita bukanlah yang tidak diharapkan alam. Orangtua kita mungkin tidak merencanakan keberadaan kita, tetapi Allah merencanakannya. Dia tidak terkejut sama sekali dengan kelahiran kita. Sesungguhnya, Dia mengharapkannya. (Indah sekali yah...)

Jauh sebelum kita ada dalam benak orangtua kita, kita sudah ada dalam pikiran Allah. Bukan karena nasip, kesempatan, keberuntungan, dan juga kebetulan kita bernafas saat ini, kita hidup karena Allah ingin menciptakan kita! Alkitab berkata: "Tuhan akan mengenapi tujuan-Nya bagiku." Dia merancang dan membuat kita seperti yang Dia inginkan; talenta alami yang kita miliki dan keunikan dari kepribadian kita, Dia juga yang menentukan.

Allah membuat kita untuk suatu alasan. Dia memutuskan kapan kita dilahirkan dan berapa lama kita hidup, Dia terlebih dahulu merencanakan hari-hari hidup kita, memilih waktu tepat untuk kelahiran & kematian kita. Allah juga merencanakan dimana kita akan dilahirkan, dimana kita akan hidup, ras & kebangsaan kita bukan suatu kebetulan, Dia merencanakan semuanya untuk tujuan-Nya.

Tidak ada satu halpun dalam hidup kita terjadi dengan sendirinya, semuanya untuk suatu tujuan. Yang paling mengagumkan, Allah menentukan bagaimana kita dilahirkan. Allah memiliki rencana ketika menciptakan kita; tidak perduli apakah orangtua kita baik, buruk, atau acuh tak acuh, Allah mengetahui bahwa mereka berdua benar-benar memiliki sifat-sifat genetik & DNA yang tepat untuk menciptakan "kita" yang sudah ada dalam pikiran-pikiran-Nya. (wow...)

Walaupun ada orangtua yang tidak sah, tidak ada anak-anak yang tidak sah; banyak anak yang tidak direncanakan oleh orangtua mereka, tetapi bukan berarti mereka tidak direncanakan oleh Allah. Allah tidak pernah melakukan apapun secara kebetulan, dan Dia tidak pernah membuat kesalahan. Dia memiliki alasan utuk segala sesuatu yang Dia ciptakan, termasuk kita. Motivasi Allah dalam menciptakan kita adalah kasih-Nya.

Allah memikirkan kita bahkan sebelum Dia menjadikan dunia ini; inilah sebabnya Dia menciptakan dunia, merancang lingkungan planet ini hanya agar kita bisa hidup di dalamnya. Kita adalah pusat kasih-Nya dan merupakan yang paling berharga dari semua ciptaan-Nya.

Kita diciptakan sebagai sasaran kasih Allah; jenis kasih yang sulit untuk dipahami, tetapi benar-benar dapat dipercayai. Allah menjadikan kita supaya Dia dapat mengasihi kita. Inilah sebuah kebenaran untuk dijadikan landasan kehidupan kita.

"Allah adalah kasih." Allah menjadikan kita untuk suatu alasan dan kehidupan kita memiliki makna yang luar biasa! Kita dapat menemukan makna & tujuan tersebut hanya apabilan kita menjadikan Allah pokok acuan kehidupan kita. "Satu-satunya cara yang tepat untuk memahami diri kita adalah melalui keberadaan Allah dan apa yang Dia kerjakan bagi kita." Roma 12:3


Bab ini membangkitkan aku dari keterburukan hidupku, merasa tak diinginkan & tak terpilih. Mungkin aku tidak berarti dibeberapa pasang mata manusia, tp aku sangat berarti dimata Penciptaku dan aku ada karena Allah-ku mempunyai tujuan untuk hidupku. Dialah pokok acuan kehidupanku. Bab ini tidak hanya membangkitkan aku, tp juga membuat aku ingin memberitahukan kepada teman-teaman-ku, malam itu juga aku sms mereka memberitakan betapa bagusnya buku ini.

Semuanya Diawali Dengan Allah

The Purpose Driven Life ~ Bab 1

Sesungguhnya Untuk Apakah Aku Ada?

1. Aku Dirancang Untuk Kesukaan Allah (Penyembahan)
2. Aku Dibentuk Untuk Menjadi Keluarga Allah (Persekutuan)
3. Aku Diciptakan Untuk Menjadi Serupa Dengan Kristus (Pemuritan)
4. Aku Dibentuk Untuk Melayani Allah (Pelayanan)
5. Aku Diciptakan Untuk Sebuah Misi (Penginjilan)

Mengetahui tujuan Allah bagi hidup kita & memahami gambaran besar bahwa semua bagian dari kehidupan kita saling bersesuaian; akan mengurangi rasa ketertekanan kita, sehingga mempermudah kita untuk mengambil keputusan, meningkatakan kepuasan & yang terpenting mempersiapkan kita dari kekekalan.

Semuanya Diawali dengan Allah

Tujuan hidup kita lebih besar dari yang pernah kita pikirkan. Lebih besar dari prestasi pribadi, ketenangan pikiran, kebahagiaan, keluarga & karier kita; bahkan dari mimpi-mimpi dan ambisi-ambisi kita.

Ingatlah, kita dilahirkan OLEH tujuan-NYA dan UNTUK tujuan-NYA.

Memusatkan perhatian pada diri sendiri tidak akan pernah menyingkapkan tujuan hidup kita. Kita tidak akan menemukan makna hidup dengan mencarinya didalam diri kita sendiri. Bukan kita yang menciptakan diri kita, jadi kita sama sekali tidak mengetahui untuk apa kita diciptakan. Kita ada karena Allah menghendaki kita ada, kita diciptakan oleh Allah dan untuk Allah; sebelum kita memahaminya, kehidupan tidak akan pernah bisa kita pahami.

Bagaimana cara kita menemukan tujuan Allah menciptakan kita? Tanyakan pada yang mencipta, jangan berspekulasi, menebak atau menduga-duga. Tanya pada Allah, dengan Alkitab sebagai buku Panduan kita, yang menjelaskan mengapa & bagaimana kita hidup, apa yang harus kita hindari dan apa yang bisa terjadi pada masa depan. Alkitab menjelaskan apa yang tidak mungkin diketahui dari buku-buku untuk menolong diri sendiri ataupun buku-buku fisafah.

Allah adalah titik awal dan sumber kehidupan. Untuk menemukan tujuan hidup kita, kita harus melihat Firman Allah, kita harus membangun kehidupan kita di atas kebenaran-kebenaran kekal.

"Di dalam Dialah kami mendapat bagian yang dijanjikan - kami yang dari semula ditentukan untuk menerima bagian itu sesuai dengan maksud Allah, yang di dalam segala sesuatu bekerja menurut keputusan kehendak-Nya" Efesus 1:11. Ayat ini memberikan 3 wawasan ke dalam tujuan kita:

1. Kita menemukan identitas dan tujuan kita melalui hubungan dengan Yesus Kristus.
2. Tujuan-Nya bagi kehidupan kita telah ada sebelum keberadaan kita. Dia merencanakanNya sebelum kita ada.
3. Tujuan hidup kita sesuai dengan tujuan yang jauh lebih besar dan menyangkut alam semesta yang telah Allah rancang bagi kekekalan.

Tanpa ALLAH hidup tidak bisa dipahami.

The Purpose Driven Life - Bab 1

My Premature Baby

Still fresh in my memory, almost 10 yrs ago, when I was having my second baby, that evening after got home from work, my water broke. It happened with my first baby, so I know what would happen, although it was not the time yet; so I called my doctor, Dr. Sudibyo, and he asked me to go to hospital right away. The problem was, no one can take me there, my husband (then) was in business trip to the site where I couldn’t reach him, and my mother was in her trip to America; then, I called our family-friend, but she wasn’t home yet, so I tried to contact some other friends. While I’m waiting, I cleaned up myself & prepared all the stuff that I need. Half an hour later she (our family-friends) called, she knew that something might go wrong coz I’ve been calling her so many times. She rushed pick me up and drove me to hospital and friend of mine with her husband was waiting for me there.

My husband (then) was surprised when he heard the news, right after he arrived in harbor. My aunt, who was in trip with my mom, called the doctor to find out what really happen & asked what would be done, coz she saw her sister so quite & stress out.

Actually my baby was not due till couples more weeks, it was only 32 weeks; he wasn’t old enough to be born, so doctor asked me to take fully bed-rest for 3 days, while he gave me some injections & medicine for making my baby stronger. The night before the caesarian, doctors came to us & explained all the possibility that might happen & what might be done, and asked our permission to do so. My doctor also informed us that he called Prof. Dr. Monintja, specialist for baby premature, to take care of the baby after he born; because two week ago there was a similar case, but the baby couldn’t make it. After hearing all the explanation, we just prayed that everything would be fine & I knew… they would do their best for me & my baby.

I realized my pregnancy was different from the first one. Unlike his older bother, Dimi, who was so calm while in my womb, which sometime made me so worry & asked him to move or gave me a sign that he was fine; this one (second baby) was so active, moving & kicking a lot, this caused his placenta twisted around his neck & he wasn’t in the right place, his head was on the top, there was no question I need an operation for his birth. I quest he couldn’t stand any longer in my womb, he just wanted to get out to see his parents & bother; but… he didn’t know the way out :) We know it would be another boy so his dad already had name for him: Aristotelis Justin Balaskas (Telis).

Friday morning, August 15, 1997 I went to the operation room; I didn’t know anything and what happened, until his dad told me. The baby wasn’t cry! Few hours later, doctors told us what actually happened & what they had done to save him. After the birth, they let Telis tried to breathe by him self, but his lung couldn’t blow; therefore, they decided to give him the injection of sufactam (twice) directly to his lung, to help it blow. His condition was not really good, yellow & need a blood transfusion too and had to be placed in incubator.

The next day, when I was able to walk, with all the pain I still had, step by step I slowly moved my feed to his room and I saw him for the first time. He was so weak & small, weight only 2 kg. With an infant breathing aid through his nose, an intravenous injection in his tiny hand and all the medical apparatus around his tiny body, he laid there alone receiving no hugs, no kisses and no one who hold him, only the warmth of an incubator. I stand close to him, genteelly caress his tiny hand and told him how I love him, how I wanted him to fight and get well, so he could go home with us. When the doctors came, they told us that the day Telis was born, they had done all they can to help him alive, but they cannot guaranty anything, there was no definite predicament of what might happen to him in the future; and we had to be prepare for all the possibilities, event the worst.

On the third day, while we were visiting him, his condition has suddenly worsened. The nurses tried to help him, but he didn’t improve, so they called the doctors; in a minute, the situation became so intends. We couldn’t do anything we just stand there outside the room tried to be calm, while watching them trying to re-stabilize his condition. I asked his dad “What’s happen?” he reply: “I don’t know, it had happen earlier during the day as well.” Seeing all the equipments that had been prepared to help him, including the heart pumping machine, I felt helpless & asked myself how could my baby’s tiny body could take that? At that moment, I surrender & said: “God… if you want to take him, take him! But if you believe I can take care of him, please…. give that chance!” Not long after that Telis’ condition was improving and continues to become better; that incident had never happen again.

After three weeks fought for his life inside the incubator, the glorious day has finally arrived. We were finally able to take Telis home to be with his family that long been waiting for him. His small body, tiny arms and legs discouraged me to hold him in my arms; while he was at his grandma’s arms, he opened his big round eyes & gave me a warm glare. I was grateful that God has given me the opportunities to look after him and that was the beginning of my journey of what God’s believe in me.

Physically, Telis grown almost like a normal baby, only his food is shorter then another, and he respond well when we called or played with him; however, due to his premature birth, he had some imperfect organ inside, such as: a little problem with his lung, asthma, hole in his heart and 3 hernias; but all that cases were shadowed by his charming smile. When we asked whether or not he need any operation, Dr. Monitja, with his wise word, said: "Just wait and see, it will be much better if you ask God for the cure than the operation.’"

As time went by, we were also notice that Telis was slow in growth and was not interested in television or any other activities that other children his age would be attracted too; first, we thought, it was normal for a premature baby, but we were wrong. Premature or not, babies are babies, they should growth in their path; if they are not, it could be meant something might be wrong or need some actions.

Then his doctor referred him to check his eyes to Dr. Rini, the result turned out his vision was +5 like an elderly person; that explained why he wasn’t really exciting with television, because he couldn’t see clearly. He might need to use glasses to see, but meanwhile Dr. gave him vitamin to improve his vision & he has to take several tests for his eyes & brain. The results EEG Report (for eyes): his eye balls didn’t move balance. ERG report: His right eyes weaker then his left one. CT-Scan: his left brain is smaller than his right side this effected his motorist skill and needed to have therapy to improve it. Dr. Rini invited me to the parents meeting who has same problems like mine, she prepared us for the worst possibility that might happen like blindness.

Although he grown like a normal kids, but he still couldn’t walk by himself, we took him to Dr. Subroto, in 2000 Telis had an operation for his tendon, in both feed, to make his feed set on the ground in the right position. In 2004 he had another operation for his lazy eyes. To see how he was, Dr also suggested taking an IQ test, the result was not that good, and he couldn’t go to a regular school, he should go to a special school.

I took everything about Telis quite well, I was not complaining, I just thankful for having him. I remember the first time I took him for the therapy… I couldn’t thankful enough to see that my baby was still much better, there were many parents that had to go trough the situation that harder than mine & I prayed for them to have extra ordinary strength. Kids like ours are special, if God gave us trust to have them, its means we are just different and there are something more about us in God’s eyes.

So… what happen with my Telis now??
Do you believe in miracle?! Yes… miracle do happened, for me there are many types of miracle: “miracle” – MIRACLE – MIRACLE - MIRACLE

Telis… is a living miracle for me & my family. He is almost 10 year old now, a very healthy boy, his lung is much better, his asthma doesn’t suffer him, a hole in his hearth closed by its selves & his hernias also. His vision improved and he didn’t ware glasses too. He is in the 3rd grade (primary) in a National Plus School and he can speak 3 languages: Indonesia, English & Mandarin.. Although he still walks with his walker but… it doesn’t meant he won’t walk; one day with God willing that miracle will come true. We know Telis was not as normal as other kids, but we treat him no different; we build his confident so he can face this world without any fear.

The chance that God gave to me, not only add happiness but also a life learning opportunity for me. The birth of Telis made me became a better person by allowing me to see, accept and embrace all deficiencies and extra abilities in every human being and my journey with him makes me able to understand better the meaning of surrender, grace and love; those are miracles that God gave to me.

jg: TQ Lord for the chances & opportunities. TQ to all the doctors, nurses & others for taking care of my boy. TQ mom, mba Fifa, Iyam (Telis' nanny), family & friends who always there for me & my kids, love you all.

Telis' Story & Update Story

Aphrodite

March 05, 07 ~ Last week, I was having an evening coffee with my two friends, Anes & Aloy. We were just discussing about things that happen in our life. Aloy just had an experience about his father’s sickness, while Anes had just come back from visiting his wife’s family. As for myself, I was just an intrigued audience. We then touch upon the topic of “an unborn child”, where do they go? And where do they end up? This got my attention. “Nes…, remember my story? Maybe that voice who called me that night was my baby.” I said to Anes and Aloy immediately asked: “you had an abortion before?” “YES,” I replied and he said: “That baby is yours! Use your senses to find out if it’s a boy or a girl, and give him/her a name, and pray!” As I was on my way home, I kept on thinking about the incident and I was trying to recall what had happened that day.

About a year after Telis, my 2nd son, was born prematurely with some complications, I found out that I was once again expecting another baby. I wasn’t ready for another one, because Telis needed extra attention & I was afraid that I will not have extra time to take care of him (it was a stupid conclusion*). And so I decided to have an abortion & didn’t talk much about that matter (a decision that I later on regret in my life*).

Years later after I became a single parent, I was working on my computer one (really) late night and was listening to music while the kids were at my mom’s. “Mommy!” I suddenly heard a child’s voice calling. I stood up and turned down the volume to listen more carefully. I tried calling my housemaid, asking if the kids were home and no one answered, as she was already fast asleep. I tried to ignore it, thinking that it must have been just in my head, and focus back to work, when suddenly I heard it again. “Mommyyyy,” the voice was calling for the second time. It got me scared and I called my friend right away. After that night, I never hear that voice again. However, I feel that the child seemed to have tried to approach me in different way. Sometimes when I was checking my kids’ room, even when the boys were not there, I feel like as if there was a child playing in the room. When the boys were having their after school activities, I heard noises as if they were home, but they were not.

The following day, after our evening coffee, I talked to Pak Dra, about it along with some other friends. Unexpectedly, the husband & boyfriend of my girlfriends had experienced similar things. During lunch time, I continued the discussion with Anes and some friends. I was searching for a boy’s name (intending to give the child a name as has been suggested earlier by Aloy), when my friends started to notice that my mind wasn’t focus and I was looking disturbed. Anes decided to call his friend, who knows much about this kind of things and offer me to share with him my experiences. I asked him a lot of questions and he answered them, but, I wasn’t ready for what comes next. He mentioned to me that the child was there beside me as we speak and I was speechless. Anes took over the phone and ask him one last question. “Oh... It’s a girl,” Anes said. A baby girl!!!… I had always wanted a girl. When I heard Anes’ friend described her, I smiled, she look like her brother, Dimi. “Is she about 7 years old?” he asked. I was astonished. Even only a soul, she grows as a 7 year old. After all of that, part of me felt bad for what I did, but another part of me felt happy knowing I have a girl.

One of my friends had given me the book called ‘Mystery of Life’ according to Pdt. Yusak Tjipto. Even though it doesn’t specifically discuss the topic of unborn child, it still gives me some ideas about the life after dead. I also remember what I read in ‘The Purpose Driven Life,’ where God created us even before our parents made us. When we are expecting a child, God gave another SOUL in our body that we are resposible for, born or unborn, wanted or unwanted. My conclusion to all these incidents was that my baby girl just wants to be remembered that she existed, even though she was not born into this world.

Time goes by, with all the goods & bads that happen in my life; I never thought my action will affect me this much, but I learn something from it. When my premature son’s conditions worsen, I remember saying to God: “God if you want to take him, take him! But if you believe that I can take care of him, please give me a chance!” He gave me that chanced and I was pregnant once again, a year later. Why should I be afraid? How silly of me to think that way. He knew that I can take care both of them and that is why He has given me another gift of life. If… and only if, I have this faith at that time, the story will be different, but we cannot live with ‘what if’, this is one good lesson for me. When God give us something in our life, He knows that we can handle it, so we should have fate in Him because He will walk with us.

I know one of my calls in life is to care for children like Telis & other unwanted children. My baby girl woke me up. “Mom… you forget about me!” I did try to, but NO… I don’t and I won’t. You are part of me, I love you, and you are my baby girl, Aphrodite Jennifer, I will meet you in His kingdom.